Choosing Connection

posted in: Articles, choosing connection | 2

Connection is very important to me. It’s important to every one of us, even if it may not always seem to be the case. Connection is actually our natural state. As natural to us as breathing.

I can see clearly how so many of the problems in the world are a direct result of disconnection at many different levels. I also think that the most effective and efficient way to heal this disconnection is to look close to home. The first place to look is inside ourselves and then to our neighbors and closest relationships.

view from my parent's home, photo taken by my mom
view from my parent’s home, photo taken by my mom

Whether my strategies are new to you or not, please take the time to integrate connection more fully and to let go of areas of disconnection in your life. There are always ways to become even more connected than you already are. Many aspects of our world right now are built on disconnection. That’s the only way oppression can take root. When we become more connected in our immediate environment, it radiates out and will affect the whole world.

Open your heart wider. And then even wider than that.

I am not sure when I started consciously doing this, but it’s amazingly effective. In the past, whenever I was in a situation where I was feeling conflict with someone or angry at them I would harden my heart and close down. I would disconnect further.

Well, I refuse to harden my heart any more. That’s not the kind of life I want to live. So at that moment of choosing connection or disconnection, I choose connection. I open my heart as wide as I need to feel a shift, either in my attitude or in the way the other person is relating to me. My heart expands and surrounds both of us. It’s amazing how this simple act changes everything. I am flooded with compassion and suddenly it feels like we are both actually on the same side.

One thing I want to mention is that I am not doing this with the goal of getting the other person to change. It’s very simple. I just choose to keep my heart open. This doesn’t mean I become a doormat. Remember, I am inside my own heart, too. I may still need to walk away from the situation, but I can do it with compassion and in a way that still honors connection and openness.

I often do this on the bus when there is a heated argument going on between some of the riders. I open my heart so wide that it encompasses the whole bus and while the argument may not always disappear, I have noticed that it comes down a few notches. Plus, I feel better. I can stay connected even when it’s uncomfortable and sometimes scary. It’s much better than the alternative.

Try it. I would love to hear about your experience.

Other posts that might interest you:

Receiving, Giving and Spilling Over

Prioritizing Time Alone in Nature


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